Calvin and Hobbes go to Military School
by Shiron766
Summary: Just as the title says. Calvin gets sent to military school.
1. Military School

Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.

**

* * *

At Home:**

"Calvin, me and your dad are going shopping." said Calvin's mom. "Do anything you want."

Then they left. "Let's play Halo on the Xbox." said Calvin.

"Ok." said Hobbes. They both went downstairs.

**After 30 minutes….**

"We are home!" said Calvin's mom. "What are you doing Calvin?"

"Playing Halo. It's really fun." said Calvin.

"What in the world are you doing!" said Calvin's mom.

"I said I am playing Halo. What is bad about it?" said Calvin.

"YOU ARE PLAYING ROMANCE KISS!" said Calvin's mom. YOU ARE MAKING THE BOY KICK HIS GIRLFRIEND! I JUST PUT THAT CD IN THE HALO CASE! AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS HALO!"

"YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO PLAY HALO UNTILL YOU KNOW HOW TO! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Then Calvin went to his room.

**

* * *

At Calvin's room:**

"I want to show you something Hobbes." said Calvin.

"Sure." said Hobbes. They both went to Calvin's T.V.

"Do you know the camera that beside the T.V. in the living room? Behind my TV, I put an Xbox device so I can do Halo. And then I can just tell my mom that I need Halo for something." But behind the door was Calvin's mom! So she planned to make Calvin to go to military school.

"Mom? Where are you?" said Calvin as he went down the hall.

"Boo!" said you know who. "You're going to military school Buster!"

"My name isn't Buster. My name is Calvin." said Calvin.

"Still, you're going to military school." said Calvin's mom.

"Never!" said Calvin as he went down the hall. "Hobbes! Hobbes! Get the milk bucket ready!"

"Ok!" said Hobbes. As Calvin went through the door…..SPLASH! "Not on me you stupid!" said Calvin.

"Got you!" said Calvin's mom. "You're going to military school."

**

* * *

In the car:**

"I want to go home!" said Calvin.

"No, you are going to military school. Well, its only 3 months." said Calvin's dad. Then Calvin put down the window the whole way. Then he took off the seat belt. Then he got his backpack and jumped out of the car.

"What are you doing Calvin!" said Calvin's dad. Then he went to the shoulder in the drive way. But there was a sign that said no shoulder driving. So, Calvin's dad got a ticket.

"No more toys for you for a year!" said Calvin's dad.

"**_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_**" Calvin shouted at the top of his lungs. He ran away to get home, carrying Hobbes, but he didn't look very well and crashed into the fence.

"At least I got away from the car and got practice in climbing trees." Calvin said. He started climbing the fence, but at the top were spikes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Calvin screamed as he fell off at the other side. He looked around. "Hey, I'm out! Come on, Hobbes! Let's get away!"

But men with guns started chasing him. "Why are we chasing after a little kid?" A guard said.

"Yeah, it's a stupid idea." Another guard said. So the guards stopped at the next Starbucks they saw and drank coffee.

Meanwhile, Calvin sneaked into a train. He got home easily, but had to walk ten miles. Susie saw him. "Hey, Calvin, do you want to have a tea party with my dolls and Hobbes?" She asked.

"No thanks. I'm going home." Calvin replied. When he got home, his mom asked, "Calvin! You're home already? I'm taking you back to military school in a jiffy, mister!" She yelled.

"NOOO! I'm never going back!" So Calvin ran to Susie's house and asked, "Do you want to have a tea party?"

"Sure, Calvin! But you're a little late because it already started." Susie led Calvin and Hobbes to chairs outside.

"Can we borrow some clothes, so we can look like gentlemen?" Calvin asked.

"I think Dad has some ties and suits." Susie said.

"We'll be back in a while!" Calvin said.

Calvin's mom was talking to Susie's mom. "Can I have a peek in your yard?" She asked.

"Sure." Calvin's mom looked into Susie's yard and only saw Susie and her dolls. Calvin had taken Hobbes with him. Then Calvin and Hobbes returned, wearing ties and huge suits.

"Hmmm, these are a bit big, but I think they're okay." Susie said.

"CALVIN! What are you doing here?" Calvin's mom screeched. So she carried off Calvin and Hobbes into the car, and drove them back to military school, where their dad was looking in the trash cans for Calvin.

"There you are! Now you're going to stay here, buddy! I think you'll like it here." A guard said. "Believe me, it's good here!"


	2. Bike Time

Disclaimer: Yeah, right. I really own Calvin and Hobbes. Not.

**

* * *

At Military School:**

"Good thing that I brought you, Hobbes. If I didn't, I would be crying right now." said Calvin.

"I brought your water gun and loads of water to refill."

"All right everybody." said a guard. "I will be your leader. My name is Bob. You will sleep in cabin 4."

"All right! That cabin is the closest to the bathroom!" said a boy.

"Run 10 miles, mister!" yelled Bob. Then everybody went to sleep.

Then Calvin woke up at 1:00 am. Then he got his water gun and then he put water in his water gun. Then he picked up his backpack and then shot the guards outside. But Calvin missed them by an inch.

"How dare you try to shoot us!" said a guard. "You will have to climb a rope that has wasps on the rope."

**

* * *

At the rope:**

"Wow, this is really easy." said Calvin. But the guard wasn't watching because Calvin was getting stung by wasps.

"Why doesn't it hurt?" saidthe guard.

"I got stung by wasps 1,000 times, so I am used to them." said Calvin. Then he went away.

**

* * *

At lunch:**

Calvin brought Hobbes to lunch so everyone is laughing at him. But he didn't know that he was being laughed at so he laughed for no reason. But the other kids didn't know why he was laughing so they just stopped laughing. So they started to think he was a tough guy. The other kids that were at military school with him were bigger than him. So the bigger kids laughed at him because he brought Hobbes with him.

"Get them Hobbes." said Calvin.

"I will do my best." said Hobbes. Nothing happened.

"Wow, he is really stupid." A dude said.

**

* * *

At class:**

"Everybody has to cross the water before 10 seconds. The river is 30 feet, top to the bottom. Now go!" said Bob.

Calvin said "I am a professional in swimming. Now watch me." Calvin ran into the water. When he got in, he was so cold that he turned peach color into light blue color.

"Help! Help! I'm going to die!" said Calvin. Then he fell down a waterfall. When he got to the bottom, his pants got torn so his butt showed. Then he when to the cabin.

"Hello, everybody. We are going to have a contest. If you win, you get a brand new bike!" said Bob on the loudspeaker. "You will have to run a mile the fastest to win."

"I am going to get that bike!" said Calvin.

**

* * *

At the running track:**

"Tell me how fast I can go after the mile." said Calvin.

"Ok." said Hobbes. On Calvin's first mile, he got 20 minutes. Then he crawled for the second mile. After the mile, Calvin got 1 hour!

"You suck." said Hobbes.

"Then you do it Hobbes. See how you do!" Then Hobbes ran. Hobbes ran so fast, he was on fire! Hobbes got 5 minutes.

"Wow, you're really good. Can you teach me how to run like that?" said Calvin.

"Sure. But a really, really, really, bad person like you, will have to run for a day. We tigers are very good at running. My dad went to the National Tiger Marathon and got first place for ten years in a row!"

A/N: Keep on reading!


	3. Bears and Bikes

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes

**

* * *

At the running track:**

"Wow, you're doing great. You got 5 minutes." said Hobbes.

"Good. How fast did your dad go?" Calvin asked.

"1 second." said Hobbes.

"Darn, I wanted to beat your dad's record." said Calvin.

"Oi! You are supposed to be asleep!" said a guard.

"Did he say I'm supposed to be dead?" said Calvin.

"No, that came from New Groove." said Hobbes. Then the guard put Calvin and Hobbes on his back.

"A horsy ride!" said Calvin. Then Calvin pulled his hair for the rest of the ride. When they got to Cabin 4, the guard was almost bald!

**

* * *

At Cabin 4:**

Somebody punched Calvin 3 times. "Ow! Stop it Hobbes!" said Calvin.

"It's not me! Moe put me in your bag!" said Hobbes.

Punch. Punch.

"Stop it Moe." Then Calvin tripped Moe with his leg.

"WWWAAAAHHHHHH!" said Moe.

"Wow, this is the first time I ever saw him crying." said Calvin. Then he took out Hobbes. "Hobbes let's go to breakfast." said Calvin.

"HEY! You kid! Have you been causing trouble again?" The almost bald guard shouted.

"Hey! Moe punched me first!" Calvin said back.

"No! You punched _me _first!" Moe lied.

"No! You punched **_me _**first!" Calvin shouted. "Even ask Hobbes! He saw the whole thing!" He glanced at Hobbes. "Right, Hobbes?"

"What, you're asking your teddy? He's a _stuffed animal! _He can't play witness!" Moe shouted back.

"Okay, that's enough. Now, you will both go to Bob and face the consequences." The almost bald guard said. Then he took them on the way to see Bob.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**" Calvin screamed. He grabbed Hobbes and jumped out the window.

"You're not escaping again, buddy!" The almost bald guard said. He blew his whistle.

Calvin ran and ran until he ran into a faraway cabin.

"What are YOU doing here?" Bob asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin screamed again. He took Bob's car. "Do you know how to hotwire the car, Hobbes? Because his keys are somewhere else."

"Okay. I'll try." Hobbes pulled some wires.

"_Self destruct in ten seconds. Ten…nine…eight…" _

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Let's get outta here!"

Bob tried to get to his car. When he got to his car, it exploded. When Calvin saw him, his hair was sticking out like a mad scientist.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Calvin. He ran into the woods.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" said Calvin as he ran out of the woods. He ran out because he ran into a bear. But the guards were waiting for him.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Calvin. Then he ran into the woods. He ran into the bear.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" said Calvin. Then he ran out.

"AAAAAAAAH!" said Calvin as he ran into the guards.

"Get him!" a guard said.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Screamed Calvin. He ran into the woods. The guards followed him. Then Calvin ran out a different way.

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" said all the guards. They all got eaten but Bob stayed alive. Then Calvin went to breakfast.

**

* * *

At breakfast:**

"Gross, its oatmeal. I'm never going to eat this." said Calvin.

"Remember, the race starts today." said Hobbes.

"How do _you _know that its today?" asked Calvin.

"I sneaked to the guards cabin and pulled up there underwear and then looked at the things to do." said Hobbes.

"All of the guards are dead. Bob doesn't count as a guard." said Calvin.

"I saw it before they died." Then they fought until people threw their oatmeal at them.

"Everybody, the race starts at 9:00 am. The time is 8:45. Now please change and go to the racing track." said Bob on the loudspeaker. Then everybody went and changed and went to the racing track. But Calvin brought his water gun so he spray the other kids.

"5, 4,3,2,1 GO!" Then everyone ran. Calvin attacked everybody so he got the bike.

"I can't believe I got the bike!" said Calvin. "Hey, you again! Were you attacking the other kids?" said Bob.

"Attack Bob, Hobbes!"

"I don't want to." said Hobbes. "We tigers don't obey other people. They only obey them when we tigers are not tired."

"Grrrrrr." said Calvin. Then he made the bike attack Bob.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Bob like a girl. He ran into the woods so fast he made smoke come out. Then he never came back.

"Too bad for him, but at least I got the bike. Hurray!" said Calvin.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if I took so long. 


	4. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin got banned from military school. Everyone was scared of him because he beat up everyone.

Calvin walked all the way to the military school and laughed at everyone there, especially Moe.

Bob ran into the woods, he then left to live with the bear family.

For stealing Hobbes, Moe was sentenced ten years in jail.

When Calvin got home, Susie yelled at Calvin to finish their tea party. Calvin said no. So Susie got tea and dumped on his head. Calvin's mom and Dad were happy because he won a bike. But Calvin has a little smile on his face…

**The End**


End file.
